Keeping Calm in the Chaos: Surviving Christmas with Anxiety

Christmas! That time of year when we all come together to share gifts, eat good food and make new memories… sounds lovely, right?

Well, if you’re struggling this season, you’re not alone. Christmas can be a really overwhelming and challenging time of year for anyone battling anxiety. Alongside all the good things come the not-so-good: the pressure for everything to feel “magical,” the social gatherings where you feel you need to look and act your best, the endless prep of presents and decorations and, if you’re a parent, the school plays, Christmas jumper days, Christmas fayres… the list genuinely goes on.

Something that often creeps up for anyone already feeling on edge is the fear of the anxiety itself. That worry that it might take over and stop you being present. That it might impact your loved ones if they see you panicking or overwhelmed. And then, of course, comes the pressure not to be anxious which is exactly the thing that keeps the vicious cycle spinning. The “fear of the fear” is powerful.

So how can you support yourself this year, and feel less burdened by the idea that anxiety might “ruin” Christmas for you or anyone else? Here are a few things to consider:

1 – Reduce Expectations

Where have you set standards so high that you are the only one expecting perfection? What could simply be “good enough”?

Maybe that looks like making Christmas dinner easier on yourself with pre-prepared food. Maybe it’s skipping the Christmas market and choosing a cosy movie night with a hot chocolate instead. Maybe it’s wearing the dress you already know you feel confident in, rather than trudging around the shops hunting for something brand new.

Take a moment to consider where you can take the pressure off yourself, even just a little.

2 – Practise Boundaries

What (and who) can you gently say no to? What events feel like a “should” instead of a genuine “want to”?

Remember: a boundary doesn’t have to be a full stop. It can be a “no” to one part and a “yes” to something that feels more manageable. Where is your line over the next couple of weeks, and what would it look like to honour it?

3 – Accept that you may feel anxious at times

If anxiety shows up for you regularly, there’s a good chance it will show up during the Christmas season too, and that’s okay. What would it be like to give that some acceptance instead of fighting it?

Try remembering that anxiety is simply a feeling designed to keep you safe. You do have tools to ride the waves (both emotional and physical). And if it feels like you don’t, consider reaching out to me, or to another professional so you can find the tools that fit you best.

You can feel anxious at times and still have a wonderful Christmas. Those two things can exist together.

4 – Practise self-compassion

Yes, I know I’m banging this drum again! But it’s important. Truly.

What helps you feel less vulnerable? What soothes you? What feels safe, warm, grounding, or nurturing? And how can you give yourself a little more of that over the coming weeks?

5 – Create small pockets of calm

Think of this as giving yourself tiny “breathing spaces” throughout the season. You don’t need a whole afternoon or a full day, sometimes two or three minutes can be enough to reset. Maybe it's a quiet walk outside, sitting in the car before going into an event, stepping into a different room for a moment, or even just pausing to take a few deep, slow breaths.

These little pockets of calm can make the bigger moments feel far more manageable.

In conclusion

Christmas doesn’t need to be perfect, and you don’t need to be perfect within it. The more you can soften expectations, honour your limits, and meet yourself with compassion, the easier it becomes to find moments of genuine warmth in the season, even if it’s messy, overwhelming, or emotional at times.

You’re allowed to take this season at your pace. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to show up exactly as you are.

And you deserve moments of peace and joy, not because everything is flawless, but because you’re human.