• Amy Fokkens

This really needs a sort out!

Updated: Dec 8, 2021

Why counselling can feel like you're clearing out a messy room


market of clay pots














“It's not working this whole counselling process, I feel worse than I did when I started”

Worse before it gets better


It was our 3rd session together and my client was sharing with me about her experience of counselling so far. She talked about feeling worse, like all of the emotions and feelings had come to the surface creating a huge mess and not knowing where to begin with it all!


I could relate, I've been there too.

The first few stages of counselling can feel very much like that room or space in your home that needs a good clear out, you know the one! The garage or shed that looks like a bomb has gone off 24/7. You take a moment and stand in the doorway and think "this needs a good clear out".



So you begin, you empty that box and move that pile of stuff, determined to make it a 'quick' job and you're feeling positive....


2 hours in and it looks like a disaster, like a whirlwind has whipped through there and demolished everything in its path and the thought " What the heck was I thinking?" goes through your mind. Safe to say it can feel overwhelming and it would be easy to walk away, shut the door and make it a 'no enter' zone.


But if you come back to it (maybe after a well deserved cuppa) and you tackle it one thing at a time, one box or corner at a time, slowly but surely it starts to look better. The chaos turns into clarity, the mess becomes organised and the feeling of overwhelm starts to slowly slip away as you think to yourself "I'm so pleased I took the time to do this".

That's exactly what counselling can do, with time and a little patience working on one thing at a time everything can start to feel a little more clear and less like a disaster zone.


So if you've been considering counselling but putting it off for a while I want to encourage you to jump in, and with a little patience, time and support that overwhelming mess (much like my airing cupboard) can start to feel a bit more manageable.


Click here to access private counselling support.


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